Have you noticed how bad it has gotten ‘out there’
in the real world?
- People quickly and frequently criticize and
even mock other people’s ideas without
giving them a fair hearing.
- Personal attacks on one’s intelligence (‘What
an idiot!…’), a person’s looks, body type, and
- People playing it safe rather than doing
anything that exposes them to the verbal and
non-verbal critiquing of others, or God-forbid…
actually failing in front of others.
- People making CYA and managing one’s image the go-to strategy for life.
Let’s face it… it is hard to operate in this type of toxic environment without getting banged up and living in self-protect mode.
Yet, there is a select breed of people out there (you’ve seen ‘em) who navigate the noxious climate at work, school, business and family with grace, humility and freedom. They seem unruffled and non-CYA in the arrows flying, stone throwing world in which we live.
How are they so impervious to the toxic barbs flying around?
Some of the most admired, magnetic and attractive people in this world share this powerful trait: a healthy form of self-confidence.
No, I’m not talking about an ego-fueled “I’m always right, I’m so awesome, you’re an idiot if you don’t listen to me” type of confidence in self. That is actually a sign you are insecure.
Instead, I am talking about men and women who have
a quiet poise and self-assurance about who they are
and what they have to do… while being free from
self-promotion and ego.
I want to be more like that… don’t you?
Fortunately, this type of quiet self-confidence can be strengthened in you. Keep reading to learn how you can grow this quality in your life.
But first, just in case you doubt whether it is worth the effort to cultivate this quality, here are 7 desirable advantages that come from possessing this healthy form of self-confidence.
“I wanted to figure out how to make my life less hectic,
but I never seemed to have enough time to do it.”
Are you feeling it? Are you tired of it?
I’m talking about the hectic pace of life. Too much to do… and never enough time. Hurry, hurry, hurry. Can’t slow down.
Research has now revealed a disturbing dark side to all this go, go, go… even beyond the physical toll it takes.
In fact, the effects of busyness are actually MUCH WORSE than you think … if you desire a life of greater impact and significance.
Here’s why: It is actually preventing you from living the life you really want.
But, the good news is there are ways to reduce the negative effects. Over the last year I have been experimenting with ways to get off the crazy ride of busyness. I am encouraged by what I have discovered.
Ready to get off the crazy ride? Read on.
Has this every happened to you? You had a dream or goal you were pursuing… and it meant a LOT to you.
You were striving and stretching to reach this important goal because you knew achieving it would be so awesome… maybe even a game changer.
- Getting that degree
- Losing 30 pounds
- Getting that promotion or your business to the next level
Yet, when you reached your goal, you found yourself surprisingly underwhelmed by how you felt. Sure, it felt great… but the thrill of victory evaporated as quickly as the morning dew.
I recently learned the science behind why this happens. This common experience has been called the Arrival Fallacy, where the anticipated payoff and the experience of the actual payoff are very different.
Why does this happen? More importantly, what can you do to avoid this empty feeling?
If you were to ask 100 people if there are things
about their life they wish would change, I think
it would be a unanimous YES! from all of them.
Heck, I know plenty of things I’d like to see different in my world.
Let’s face it, no matter how good life is at any given moment,
there are ALWAYS things that aren’t the way we’d really
like them to be.
- A better job
- A better living arrangement
- Less debt, more savings
- Lose weight, gain muscle, get in shape, etc.
- Finish school, go back to school
- A better relationship
- 8 gazillion other possibilities
Ok, everyone wants to see things change in their lives… then why do so few make an effort to change?
Because it’s hard! Let’s be honest. It is easier to do nothing (or stop trying) than to make the effort to change something.
What if you learned an easier way to make desired changes… and the results would be greater… would you try (again) to change some things?
From my research, I have found a 5-step formula that CAN help you see greater progress in your efforts to change certain things in your life.
So many worlds, so much to do,
so little [truly getting] done.
-Alfred Lord Tennyson
Are you like me?
… Motivated to make progress in your life, filled with lofty goals, energized by where you want to see your life?
… but you find yourself spending waaay too much time doing the have-to’s and not the want-to’s?
You know what I am talking about. The have-to tasks demand much of our time, but return very little in the way of satisfaction, energy, or motivation. You just gotta grind them out and get-r-done.
Is there a way to transform the “have to” tasks into “want to” tasks?
This quote has had a profoundly positive impact on me. In many ways, it changed my life.
“If you don’t like something, change it.
If you can’t change it, change your attitude about it.”
– Maya Angelou
I used to whine about EVERYTHING I didn’t like. Like a malignant Johnny Appleseed, I spread my complaints far and wide to all who would listen.
No wonder people didn’t want to be around me… except for fellow whiners.
Ironically, but not surprisingly, I didn’t always want to be around my fellow whiners. Somehow, I didn’t see the connection.
Here’s how all that changed…
Hero stories rise in unexpected situations
Dave Sanderson was on yet another flight (he flew over 100 times a year). Like clockwork, he knew what came next.
So, just like most of us do, he tuned out when they go over safety details at the beginning of the flight.
Yet this time the information would save a life. (more…)
Courtesy: Jen Cohen
Have you ever wondered, “Why am I working so hard but not seeing greater success?”
It is not an uncommon experience. You work really hard toward a goal, hoping to see greater success as time goes on. But, instead you experience frustration and disillusionment from coming up empty handed.
Why is it that some people see greater success from their efforts… and some don’t?
So here you are. Tired, annoyed,
disgruntled. You’ve been trying,
and trying, and trying some more.
You’ve worked overtime, spent months working on the same manuscript, endless nights with coffee and a night lamp to study for that one class. And still, nothing. Nada. Zilch.
Nothing to show for your hard work except the bags under your eyes and your dreary aura. You’re stuck in the grind zone. There’s no resolution in sight; all that’s laid out in front of you is more work, on top of more work, with some more work to top it all off.
Shouldn’t there be some reward… by now? Some encouragement, “you’ve made it this far, keep going!” At least some sense of, “halfway there!”
You remember the time you left the starting line on this dream of a better something. You thought to yourself, “Sure, it’ll take hard work and dedication, but it’ll be worth it when I accomplish this.”
But, now you aren’t so sure. The finish line is nowhere in sight. Should you even keep going?