Courtesy: Jen Cohen
Have you ever wondered, “Why am I working so hard but not seeing greater success?”
It is not an uncommon experience. You work really hard toward a goal, hoping to see greater success as time goes on. But, instead you experience frustration and disillusionment from coming up empty handed.
Why is it that some people see greater success from their efforts… and some don’t?
So here you are. Tired, annoyed,
disgruntled. You’ve been trying,
and trying, and trying some more.
You’ve worked overtime, spent months working on the same manuscript, endless nights with coffee and a night lamp to study for that one class. And still, nothing. Nada. Zilch.
Nothing to show for your hard work except the bags under your eyes and your dreary aura. You’re stuck in the grind zone. There’s no resolution in sight; all that’s laid out in front of you is more work, on top of more work, with some more work to top it all off.
Shouldn’t there be some reward… by now? Some encouragement, “you’ve made it this far, keep going!” At least some sense of, “halfway there!”
You remember the time you left the starting line on this dream of a better something. You thought to yourself, “Sure, it’ll take hard work and dedication, but it’ll be worth it when I accomplish this.”
But, now you aren’t so sure. The finish line is nowhere in sight. Should you even keep going?
Have you ever looked back on a conversation you had and thought, yeah, I definitely should have handled that better? Yep… me too.
A friend of mine told me of her recent regretful
“I called my daughter’s dad to set up a trip
for her to visit him. And he made a couple
of comments about the cost of the flight and
the dates not working for him.
I was instantly mad.
To my credit, I knew what was happening at the time. But like a car whose brakes go out, I couldn’t stop the wreck. I started shouting my “extremely valid” points and making snarky remarks.
With neither of us wanting to deal with each other at that point—we hung up. It was an epic fail.”
Have you ever been in a situation like this? You were able to identify that you were feeling emotional… but felt helpless to stop it?
The great news is that when you learn (yes, it is a process) how to better manage your emotions by raising your “emotional intelligence,” things turn out MUCH better.
Read on to discover 4 compelling benefits from increasing your emotional intelligence (EQ).
“EQ has twice the power of IQ to predict performance [success]. EQ is also a better predictor than employee skill, knowledge, or expertise.” – Gerald Mount
Imagine you are a caveman, and you are
working really hard dragging a sled of
supplies uphill to your cave. You look over at your neighbor and he too is working to get supplies uphill to his cave.
… but he has wheels on his cart.
Sometimes, there is an easier way to accomplish your goals. The surprising news from research is that due to a quirk in human perception, you can “put wheels” on your efforts to make real progress toward your goals.
Using the technique I am about to share with you, one person said, “I found it surprising that I could do [what I struggled to do previously, but this time] without a tremendous amount of effort or commitment.”
In their fascinating book, The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact, Chip and Dan Health show us (among many other things) how we can alter and then leverage our experiences to see greater progress toward our goals.
A positive outlook toward your future and your life has many well documented benefits:
- Lower stress and depression levels.
- Greater resilience to hardships.
- Better health, longer life, and more energy.
- Better relationships.
- An overall higher sense of well-being.
But a positive attitude isn’t all sunshine and unicorns.
Having a positive outlook also has a rarely mentioned dark side. In certain situations, positivity can lead to unnecessary hardships, misery and frustrations.
The good news is that not only can you negate this potential downside, you can actually leverage this negative dimension to experience greater success in what you are doing.
When you feel stress about performing an upcoming task, how can you find stress relief by reducing your anxiety levels?
Here’s why this is crucial: If you don’t reduce your anxiety, it will almost certainly impact your performance… potentially leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy – things didn’t turn out well, just like you were worried about in the first place.
Researchers at Michigan State University discovered a simple technique that measurably reduces your anxiety levels, allowing you to perform without the crippling effects of the anxiety.
I believe this technique has broader application for the anxiety and stress you face in your life (not just for an upcoming task).
I use it every day, and I can attest to its power to release much of the anxiety you unnecessarily carry around with yourself.
In 2016, the movie Split was based on a man with multiple personalities (who did some very bad things).
Without all the bad, I sometimes think I may have multiple personalities, too.
Here’s why: there is a part of me that is VERY eager to do more, see more, be more. I have dreams and ambitions that excite me sooo much. I feel very motivated to reach new heights.
But, then there’s another part of me.
This other side of me constantly yearns for relaxing, or for taking it easy because I am tired or stressed. Or it convinces me to pursue my dreams later, when I will feel more motivated, or more energetic or clearheaded.
Does this sound familiar? You have good things you really want to do… but when it comes to the daily decisions affecting those good things, you keep choosing the easy route?
Stay with me here. I want to share some research insights that can help you escape your comfort zone and get where you really want to go.
“I wanted to figure out how to make my life less hectic,
but I never seemed to have enough time to do it.”
Are you feeling it? Are you tired of it?
I’m talking about the hectic pace of life. Too much to do… and never enough time. Hurry, hurry, hurry. Can’t slow down.
Research has now revealed a disturbing dark side to all this go, go, go… even beyond the physical toll it takes.
In fact, the effects of busyness are actually MUCH WORSE than you think … if you desire a life of greater impact and significance.
Here’s why: It is actually preventing you from living the life you really want.
But, the good news is there are ways to reduce the negative effects. Over the last year I have been experimenting with ways to get off the crazy ride of busyness. I am encouraged by what I have discovered.
Ready to get off the crazy ride? Read on.
Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better.
Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills.
Don’t wish for less challenge, wish for more wisdom.”
— Jim Rohn
I’ve got a confession to make.
For a loooong time, when I was faced with a difficult situation, I would turn to God and plead with him to change the situation… and/or deliver me from it. That was my exclusive focus.
Now, it is good to pray… and to seek divine help. I do this regularly. The people who pray in the Bible often pray for God’s deliverance. But, those situations were typically things far beyond one’s control (e.g. an invading army, a drought).
But, I didn’t understand the whole picture. (more…)
Change your thoughts
and you change your world.
– Norman Vincent Peale
This is a profound quote… but let’s be honest. It can be a little frustrating to hear (at least at first).
It’s like being told, “Make a million dollars, and your world will change!”
Umm, ok, I agree… but how do I do the first part?
Have you ever tried to change your thoughts or at least stop a particular thought from dominating your mind?
- Worried thoughts
- Angry thoughts
- Woe is me thoughts
- Give up thoughts
It seems impossible to change certain thoughts… but thankfully there is a technique that does work.
When you consistently apply this technique, everything changes for the good. I can say that from personal experience. 🙂 (more…)