Has this every happened to you? You had a dream or goal you were pursuing… and it meant a LOT to you.
You were striving and stretching to reach this important goal because you knew achieving it would be so awesome… maybe even a game changer.
- Getting that degree
- Losing 30 pounds
- Getting that promotion or your business to the next level
Yet, when you reached your goal, you found yourself surprisingly underwhelmed by how you felt. Sure, it felt great… but the thrill of victory evaporated as quickly as the morning dew.
I recently learned the science behind why this happens. This common experience has been called the Arrival Fallacy, where the anticipated payoff and the experience of the actual payoff are very different.
Why does this happen? More importantly, what can you do to avoid this empty feeling?
Why do you read Wise Insights? What’re you hoping to get from this content?
My guess is you want to learn about research-backed techniques and time-tested insights that can help you…
- Overcome obstacles and keep you moving forward
- Understand human mental quirks so you can make better decisions and avoid regrets
- Become the best version of yourself that you can be (leading to a better life).
To this end, Wise Insights reveals techniques to…
- Increase your motivation, joy and influence
- Reduce your stress & handle irrational fears
- Grow in your emotional intelligence and intellectual humility
- Better connect with people
- and so much more.
But here’s the question for today: What do you do when the techniques don’t seem to be enough to improve your situation?
Read on to learn what I do when the tips, tricks and techniques aren’t doing the trick.
So many worlds, so much to do,
so little [truly getting] done.
-Alfred Lord Tennyson
Are you like me?
… Motivated to make progress in your life, filled with lofty goals, energized by where you want to see your life?
… but you find yourself spending waaay too much time doing the have-to’s and not the want-to’s?
You know what I am talking about. The have-to tasks demand much of our time, but return very little in the way of satisfaction, energy, or motivation. You just gotta grind them out and get-r-done.
Is there a way to transform the “have to” tasks into “want to” tasks?
I have a dream. I’ll bet you share it, too.
I have a dream that I could get to the place where I could experience a deep, sustaining joy… every day.
The kind of joy that isn’t touched by the challenges and storms of life.
Now, I am not naïve. There is no such thing as a happy pill that will make life all sunshine and smiles. I know that life can be difficult. I know the impact of circumstances will affect me until the day I die.
But, wouldn’t it be great if we were able to increase the frequency and experience of the “good days” and decrease the impact of the “bad days”?
Good news! There is. (more…)
There’s not a person out there who doesn’t want to improve their lives. It’s ingrained in us. We want to be the best that we can be.
Image by Rama V.
So why do so few of us actually take the needed steps
to improve our lives?
Much like anything else in life, I think the answer is we
overcomplicate what really needs to be done to be better.
We formulate grand schemes. We layout everything at once. We look at the big picture.
And then we get hit with the overwhelm.
Taking a look at the overall plan, we see no way to better ourselves.We become paralyzed with analysis paralysis.
Just like our answers should be simple, we can break down a better you through baby steps. Eventually, the baby steps will snowball into breakthrough.
To become a better you, try adding or beefing up these three actions to your life:
This quote has had a profoundly positive impact on me. In many ways, it changed my life.
“If you don’t like something, change it.
If you can’t change it, change your attitude about it.”
– Maya Angelou
I used to whine about EVERYTHING I didn’t like. Like a malignant Johnny Appleseed, I spread my complaints far and wide to all who would listen.
No wonder people didn’t want to be around me… except for fellow whiners.
Ironically, but not surprisingly, I didn’t always want to be around my fellow whiners. Somehow, I didn’t see the connection.
Here’s how all that changed…
We must all suffer one of two things:
the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. -Jim Rohn
Are you 100% satisfied with where you are in your life? Things couldn’t be more perfect?
Or, if you are like the vast majority of us, are there things – a LOT of things – that could be better…or at least improved upon?
Assuming you do want change, and you are able to see those improvements in your life, what would your life look like a year from now? How about five years from now?
Got that successful “future you” and improved life situation pictured in your head? Good! Now, here’s the tricky part. How do you get there from here?
Remember all those New Year’s resolutions that came to naught? “I’m going to lose thirty pounds this year,” or “This is the year I am going to get my finances in order!”
But it didn’t quite happen.
If it were so darn easy to decide on a goal and make it a reality, this whole life thing would be a piece of cake – that somebody else baked for us.
Have you ever had a friend recommend something
that they thought was “awesome” or even report that they experienced a breakthrough?
It was something you were eager to try out… yet when
you did, you were underwhelmed?
Then, just about the time you are ready to assign “yah, right…” to then next “this was ah-mazing” claim, you are shocked because, well, it actually was.
Here’s the question: Why is it that, sometimes “great” promised claims turn out to be a bust, and other times they are, to use the word of the old Tony the Tiger commercial… GREAT!
And perhaps more importantly, how do you avoid two equally fatal mistakes:
- Falling for every grandiose claim, OR
- Turning into a cynical, skeptical critic (who misses out on some great things because you doubt everything).
Hero stories rise in unexpected situations
Dave Sanderson was on yet another flight (he flew over 100 times a year). Like clockwork, he knew what came next.
So, just like most of us do, he tuned out when they go over safety details at the beginning of the flight.
Yet this time the information would save a life. (more…)
Courtesy: Jen Cohen
Have you ever wondered, “Why am I working so hard but not seeing greater success?”
It is not an uncommon experience. You work really hard toward a goal, hoping to see greater success as time goes on. But, instead you experience frustration and disillusionment from coming up empty handed.
Why is it that some people see greater success from their efforts… and some don’t?