A secret desire for virtually every human being on this planet is to be seen as attractive by others. I’m not just talking about physical appearance, either.

Attractive [uh-trak-tiv]: A pleasing quality that draws people toward it.

We’d all love for others to be drawn to us like a magnet, to seek us out, to want to be with us, to hang on our words, laugh at our jokes… at least by the people we want to be with.

Can you relate?

We go to great lengths in a number of ways to accomplish this:

• Outer bodies: Botox, implants, makeup, personal grooming, working out, dieting, getting our hair/clothes just right, etc.
• Achievement: Leading to status, fame, or wealth (which attracts people)
• Personalities: People pleasing, being what we think others want us to be (chameleon syndrome) so they like us more.

What is usually overlooked are attractive qualities that radiate from the inside out. These character qualities can draw people toward us… or repel them from us.

Empathy is a powerful inner quality that can help you be a magnet that draws people toward you… and increases their desire to be in your orbit.

“If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from his angle as well as your own. ” – Henry Ford

Thankfully, this undervalued people skill can be increased in your life… opening many new doors to a meaningful life with tremendous impact.

Read on to learn 5 ways to improve your empathy skills… and 5 things NOT to do that you might think are helpful (trust me, they aren’t).

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If you were an executive coach who interacted with
thousands of clients over 30 years…                                                        

… you would probably see certain characteristics
emerging over and over that were “make or break”
qualities in one’s success.

Dave Yarnes is just such a coach.

One of the qualities he noticed in countless individuals
that seriously limited (or accelerated) their ability
to succeed:

Self-Awareness – Understanding and addressing who you really are, and how you come across to others (but you can’t see)… yet everyone else can see.

In fact, this quality of “self-awareness” is so crucial that researcher Dr. Tasha Eurich called it, “The Most Important Skill of the 21st Century.”

You know people like this, right? People who are oblivious or self-deceived on how they come across.

• They think they are funny, while others cringe at their insensitive comments.
• They think they are dispensing wisdom to everyone they meet, but in reality they don’t listen well or frequently interrupt others to give their opinion.
• They think they are admired for “telling it like it is” but others avoid them because they have zero empathy or caring.

Sure, everyone knows other people who have this issue… but here’s the real problem:

Everyone (yes, that means you and me, too) are blind to certain dimensions of who we really are.

“You can fool yourself, you know. You’d think it’s impossible, but it turns out it’s the easiest thing of all.” ― Jodi Picoult

Here is what executive coach Dave Yarnes repeatedly saw: Until you address your blind spot, you will continue to limit your ability to influence others and succeed at the level you desire.

I’m going to show you an effective method to overcome this blindness… so you can become a more influential, well respected and successful person (at home, at work/school, in life). (more…)

Imagine you are a caveman, and you are
working really hard dragging a sled of
supplies uphill to your cave. You look over at your neighbor and he too is working to get supplies uphill to his cave.

… but he has wheels on his cart.

Sometimes, there is an easier way to accomplish you goals. The surprising news from research is that due to a quirk in human perception, you can “put wheels” on your efforts to make real progress toward your goals.

Using the technique I am about to share with you, one person said, “I found it surprising that I could do [what I struggled to do previously, but this time] without a tremendous amount of effort or commitment.”

In their fascinating book, The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact, Chip and Dan Health show us (among many other things) how we can alter and then leverage our experiences to see greater progress toward our goals.

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“You must become more aware of how you see,
not just what you see.”
– Michael Kimmelman

“What you perceive depends a good deal on where you are standing. It also depends on what sort of person you are.”
– C.S. Lewis

Reality, and your perceptions of reality are often two different things.

You are wise to recognize that sometimes your perceptions can’t be trusted, and must be examined… even challenged.

This was pointed out recently by Professor Steven Pinker in an article for Time Magazine. He noted that according to actual measurable statistics about life in the 21^st century, people overall are…

• Living longer
• Healthier
• Better fed
• Richer
• Safer

… than ever before.

Those are the undeniable facts.

Yet, the average person’s opinion of the state of the world is much more pessimistic and worried.

What’s going on here? Why are people drawing conclusions that are the exact opposite of the facts?

I’m glad you asked. There is a phenomenon going on that you must understand and address in your life if you are going to experience a better, more hopeful life (that is rooted in reality).

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Do you desire/aspire to become a person that others are attracted to?

Do you want people to admire and respect you more (especially by the people that really matter)?

Then, you need an influential character trait that is in short supply these days. In fact, its disappearance in many societies is creating all sorts of problems… and is getting worse.

• Hindering personal growth
• Ruining interpersonal relationships
• Reducing innovation/progress
• Limiting our ability to solve major problems

What’s ironic is that the lack of this trait allows a poison cloud to develop that no one likes experiencing… but everyone still uses when it serves them.

The trait is called intellectual humility… and very few have it these days.

BTW- if you already think you know what it is (and are tempted to skip reading further), that is evidence you don’t possess it.

Here’s what I can promise you… If you can grow in this trait, you can accelerate your personal growth/success. Plus, you will dramatically improve both your relationships and your influence in this world.

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A positive outlook toward your future and your life has many well documented benefits:

• Lower stress and depression levels.
• Greater resilience to hardships.
• Better health, longer life, and more energy.
• Better relationships.
• An overall higher sense of well-being.

But a positive attitude isn’t all sunshine and unicorns.

Having a positive outlook also has a rarely mentioned dark side. In certain situations, positivity can lead to unnecessary hardships, misery and frustrations.

The good news is that not only can you negate this potential downside, you can actually leverage this negative dimension to experience greater success in what you are doing.

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Sometimes “little hinges swing big doors” in your life. They can have a disproportionately beneficial impact, considering how inconsequential they seem.

One scientifically verified example is found in the regular use of two simple words: Thank You.

As author Max Lucado reminds us–

Two essential words deserve special attention–  “Thank you”

Gratitude is a mindful awareness of the benefits of life. It is the greatest of virtues.

Studies link it with a variety of positive effects. Grateful people tend to be– (more…)

 “I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and uh –I can’t remember what the third thing is” – Fred Allen

“I have always had a bad memory… as far back as I can remember.” -Lewis Thomas

Let’s be honest… everyone wishes they had a better memory, especially when trying to recall an important item.

You know how that works: You know the information is in your brain… somewhere. You just can’t locate it when you really need it.

Here’s the question: Is there a way to quickly improve your long-term memory… especially before you need it?

Research has uncovered a surprising way to boost your long-term memory by up to 20%. Better still, it only takes a few minutes to improve your results. (more…)