Have you ever looked back on a conversation you had and thought, yeah, I definitely should have handled that better? Yep… me too.
A friend of mine told me of her recent regretful
“I called my daughter’s dad to set up a trip
for her to visit him. And he made a couple
of comments about the cost of the flight and
the dates not working for him.
I was instantly mad.
To my credit, I knew what was happening at the time. But like a car whose brakes go out, I couldn’t stop the wreck. I started shouting my “extremely valid” points and making snarky remarks.
With neither of us wanting to deal with each other at that point—we hung up. It was an epic fail.”
Have you ever been in a situation like this? You were able to identify that you were feeling emotional… but felt helpless to stop it?
The great news is that when you learn (yes, it is a process) how to better manage your emotions by raising your “emotional intelligence,” things turn out MUCH better.
Read on to discover 4 compelling benefits from increasing your emotional intelligence (EQ).
“EQ has twice the power of IQ to predict performance [success]. EQ is also a better predictor than employee skill, knowledge, or expertise.” – Gerald Mount
Imagine you are a caveman, and you are
working really hard dragging a sled of
supplies uphill to your cave. You look over at your neighbor and he too is working to get supplies uphill to his cave.
… but he has wheels on his cart.
Sometimes, there is an easier way to accomplish your goals. The surprising news from research is that due to a quirk in human perception, you can “put wheels” on your efforts to make real progress toward your goals.
Using the technique I am about to share with you, one person said, “I found it surprising that I could do [what I struggled to do previously, but this time] without a tremendous amount of effort or commitment.”
In their fascinating book, The Power of Moments: Why Certain Experiences Have Extraordinary Impact, Chip and Dan Health show us (among many other things) how we can alter and then leverage our experiences to see greater progress toward our goals.
A positive outlook toward your future and your life has many well documented benefits:
- Lower stress and depression levels.
- Greater resilience to hardships.
- Better health, longer life, and more energy.
- Better relationships.
- An overall higher sense of well-being.
But a positive attitude isn’t all sunshine and unicorns.
Having a positive outlook also has a rarely mentioned dark side. In certain situations, positivity can lead to unnecessary hardships, misery and frustrations.
The good news is that not only can you negate this potential downside, you can actually leverage this negative dimension to experience greater success in what you are doing.
When you feel stress about performing an upcoming task, how can you find stress relief by reducing your anxiety levels?
Here’s why this is crucial: If you don’t reduce your anxiety, it will almost certainly impact your performance… potentially leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy – things didn’t turn out well, just like you were worried about in the first place.
Researchers at Michigan State University discovered a simple technique that measurably reduces your anxiety levels, allowing you to perform without the crippling effects of the anxiety.
I believe this technique has broader application for the anxiety and stress you face in your life (not just for an upcoming task).
I use it every day, and I can attest to its power to release much of the anxiety you unnecessarily carry around with yourself.
In 2016, the movie Split was based on a man with multiple personalities (who did some very bad things).
Without all the bad, I sometimes think I may have multiple personalities, too.
Here’s why: there is a part of me that is VERY eager to do more, see more, be more. I have dreams and ambitions that excite me sooo much. I feel very motivated to reach new heights.
But, then there’s another part of me.
This other side of me constantly yearns for relaxing, or for taking it easy because I am tired or stressed. Or it convinces me to pursue my dreams later, when I will feel more motivated, or more energetic or clearheaded.
Does this sound familiar? You have good things you really want to do… but when it comes to the daily decisions affecting those good things, you keep choosing the easy route?
Stay with me here. I want to share some research insights that can help you escape your comfort zone and get where you really want to go.
Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better.
Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills.
Don’t wish for less challenge, wish for more wisdom.”
— Jim Rohn
I’ve got a confession to make.
For a loooong time, when I was faced with a difficult situation, I would turn to God and plead with him to change the situation… and/or deliver me from it. That was my exclusive focus.
Now, it is good to pray… and to seek divine help. I do this regularly. The people who pray in the Bible often pray for God’s deliverance. But, those situations were typically things far beyond one’s control (e.g. an invading army, a drought).
But, I didn’t understand the whole picture. (more…)
Change your thoughts
and you change your world.
– Norman Vincent Peale
This is a profound quote… but let’s be honest. It can be a little frustrating to hear (at least at first).
It’s like being told, “Make a million dollars, and your world will change!”
Umm, ok, I agree… but how do I do the first part?
Have you ever tried to change your thoughts or at least stop a particular thought from dominating your mind?
- Worried thoughts
- Angry thoughts
- Woe is me thoughts
- Give up thoughts
It seems impossible to change certain thoughts… but thankfully there is a technique that does work.
When you consistently apply this technique, everything changes for the good. I can say that from personal experience. 🙂 (more…)
What is the number one key to success in life?
If you have it, sky’s the limit. If you don’t, you will struggle to find sustained success.
Although there are many factors that contribute to success in life, one in particular seems to be the prerequisite upon which all the others are built.
Build this one success factor into your life and all the other dominoes fall into place.
Hint: the answer isn’t what you think.
How to think like successful people… that is something you must understand if you want to see greater levels of success.
Here’s why this is so important: from the outside you can’t see the REAL DIFFERENCE MAKER to one’s success.
For example, if you took…
100 highly successful individuals (success defined as those reaching their goals)
– and compared them to –
100 individuals who look the same from the naked eye but who keep struggling
… is there a difference maker?
- Both groups work hard… check!
- Both groups are intelligent… check!
- Both groups have talent… check!
To identify the difference, you need to go below the surface. At the core of each group is a radically different way of thinking.
“You have to be honest about what you really want and be willing to take risks [to get there] rather than lie to yourself and make excuses to stay in your comfort zone.” – Roy T. Bennett
I’ve always had this restless tension (which has been growing recently), to…
- Go further
- Accomplish more
- Have greater impact
- Make a bigger difference
…but, I can quickly come up with all sorts of reasons why I can’t get started until tomorrow, next week, next year.
- Not enough time
- Not enough resources
- Time commitment to my family
Those are all true. Sigh! Always true.
Are you destined to remain trapped because of your schedule limitations? Nope… not if you reach this crucial point.