Has this every happened to you? You had a dream or goal you were pursuing… and it meant a LOT to you.
You were striving and stretching to reach this important goal because you knew achieving it would be so awesome… maybe even a game changer.
- Getting that degree
- Losing 30 pounds
- Getting that promotion or your business to the next level
Yet, when you reached your goal, you found yourself surprisingly underwhelmed by how you felt. Sure, it felt great… but the thrill of victory evaporated as quickly as the morning dew.
I recently learned the science behind why this happens. This common experience has been called the Arrival Fallacy, where the anticipated payoff and the experience of the actual payoff are very different.
Why does this happen? More importantly, what can you do to avoid this empty feeling?
If you were to ask 100 people if there are things
about their life they wish would change, I think
it would be a unanimous YES! from all of them.
Heck, I know plenty of things I’d like to see different in my world.
Let’s face it, no matter how good life is at any given moment,
there are ALWAYS things that aren’t the way we’d really
like them to be.
- A better job
- A better living arrangement
- Less debt, more savings
- Lose weight, gain muscle, get in shape, etc.
- Finish school, go back to school
- A better relationship
- 8 gazillion other possibilities
Ok, everyone wants to see things change in their lives… then why do so few make an effort to change?
Because it’s hard! Let’s be honest. It is easier to do nothing (or stop trying) than to make the effort to change something.
What if you learned an easier way to make desired changes… and the results would be greater… would you try (again) to change some things?
From my research, I have found a 5-step formula that CAN help you see greater progress in your efforts to change certain things in your life.
Why do you read Wise Insights? What’re you hoping to get from this content?
My guess is you want to learn about research-backed techniques and time-tested insights that can help you…
- Overcome obstacles and keep you moving forward
- Understand human mental quirks so you can make better decisions and avoid regrets
- Become the best version of yourself that you can be (leading to a better life).
To this end, Wise Insights reveals techniques to…
- Increase your motivation, joy and influence
- Reduce your stress & handle irrational fears
- Grow in your emotional intelligence and intellectual humility
- Better connect with people
- and so much more.
But here’s the question for today: What do you do when the techniques don’t seem to be enough to improve your situation?
Read on to learn what I do when the tips, tricks and techniques aren’t doing the trick.
So many worlds, so much to do,
so little [truly getting] done.
-Alfred Lord Tennyson
Are you like me?
… Motivated to make progress in your life, filled with lofty goals, energized by where you want to see your life?
… but you find yourself spending waaay too much time doing the have-to’s and not the want-to’s?
You know what I am talking about. The have-to tasks demand much of our time, but return very little in the way of satisfaction, energy, or motivation. You just gotta grind them out and get-r-done.
Is there a way to transform the “have to” tasks into “want to” tasks?
There’s not a person out there who doesn’t want to improve their lives. It’s ingrained in us. We want to be the best that we can be.
Image by Rama V.
So why do so few of us actually take the needed steps
to improve our lives?
Much like anything else in life, I think the answer is we
overcomplicate what really needs to be done to be better.
We formulate grand schemes. We layout everything at once. We look at the big picture.
And then we get hit with the overwhelm.
Taking a look at the overall plan, we see no way to better ourselves.We become paralyzed with analysis paralysis.
Just like our answers should be simple, we can break down a better you through baby steps. Eventually, the baby steps will snowball into breakthrough.
To become a better you, try adding or beefing up these three actions to your life:
This quote has had a profoundly positive impact on me. In many ways, it changed my life.
“If you don’t like something, change it.
If you can’t change it, change your attitude about it.”
– Maya Angelou
I used to whine about EVERYTHING I didn’t like. Like a malignant Johnny Appleseed, I spread my complaints far and wide to all who would listen.
No wonder people didn’t want to be around me… except for fellow whiners.
Ironically, but not surprisingly, I didn’t always want to be around my fellow whiners. Somehow, I didn’t see the connection.
Here’s how all that changed…
Have you ever had a friend recommend something
that they thought was “awesome” or even report that they experienced a breakthrough?
It was something you were eager to try out… yet when
you did, you were underwhelmed?
Then, just about the time you are ready to assign “yah, right…” to then next “this was ah-mazing” claim, you are shocked because, well, it actually was.
Here’s the question: Why is it that, sometimes “great” promised claims turn out to be a bust, and other times they are, to use the word of the old Tony the Tiger commercial… GREAT!
And perhaps more importantly, how do you avoid two equally fatal mistakes:
- Falling for every grandiose claim, OR
- Turning into a cynical, skeptical critic (who misses out on some great things because you doubt everything).
Hero stories rise in unexpected situations
Dave Sanderson was on yet another flight (he flew over 100 times a year). Like clockwork, he knew what came next.
So, just like most of us do, he tuned out when they go over safety details at the beginning of the flight.
Yet this time the information would save a life. (more…)
Courtesy: Jen Cohen
Have you ever wondered, “Why am I working so hard but not seeing greater success?”
It is not an uncommon experience. You work really hard toward a goal, hoping to see greater success as time goes on. But, instead you experience frustration and disillusionment from coming up empty handed.
Why is it that some people see greater success from their efforts… and some don’t?
So here you are. Tired, annoyed,
disgruntled. You’ve been trying,
and trying, and trying some more.
You’ve worked overtime, spent months working on the same manuscript, endless nights with coffee and a night lamp to study for that one class. And still, nothing. Nada. Zilch.
Nothing to show for your hard work except the bags under your eyes and your dreary aura. You’re stuck in the grind zone. There’s no resolution in sight; all that’s laid out in front of you is more work, on top of more work, with some more work to top it all off.
Shouldn’t there be some reward… by now? Some encouragement, “you’ve made it this far, keep going!” At least some sense of, “halfway there!”
You remember the time you left the starting line on this dream of a better something. You thought to yourself, “Sure, it’ll take hard work and dedication, but it’ll be worth it when I accomplish this.”
But, now you aren’t so sure. The finish line is nowhere in sight. Should you even keep going?